It only seemed fitting that today, of all days, I close the door on my last birth with you, dear Nev and make room for this next babe.
It seems with all my babes there has been this moment. When I left childlessness behind and became a mama with Soren. When I left the loss of my girls behind, removing my necklace i’d worn since losing them and welcomed Lyric. And, now, with me almost 40 weeks, and my dear friends gathering round today to bless this mama and babe, I feel the need to let go completely, make room for little one waiting, and honor my almost 2 year old with his birth day right around the corner.
So, dear Nev…my joyful, spicy little sprite, who inspired the beginning of this family blog. This is for you. For the joy you bring everyday to this world. Your birth was filled with laughter and stories of birthing flat iron’s and skelelton fish with pink lipstick in betweeen (dare i say fun!) waves of contractions. It was filled with dad and I joking playfully in the kitchen, peeling eggs (and forgetting so many times to eat them because a contraction would hit) that we almost didn’t eat them. And, into this world you came, surrounded by the silence of your brothers who knew what there mama needed…quiet…and listened and watched in silence even at such tender ages.
And, little one to be. It’s now time for you. And as of today, I feel I can truly open up to that. The birth tub awaits, my sisters are surrounding me and mama is settling down, slowing down, and weepy and rested from a night away with her love…reacquainted as much as two parents with almost 4 children can.
My gift to you, dear Nev… (before you click, friends, know that this may be a bit graphic for some… Birth, though the most natural thing in the world, is not always embraced or portrayed without covering up mama, baby and well folks..that’s just not how birth really happens)
May your voice always be heard. And, know that our voices will be singing with you always.
Take these wings and learn to fly, all your life. And trust that we will always provide the wind for you to rise up and soar.
I use to sew, here and there, when I was little, making sleeping bags for my animals and such. The next time I sewed was when in highschool my friend Lori and I decided to make some summer short. The pattern is still etched in my mind…crazy stars and circles brightly contrasted against a black background because we didn’t want to spend ‘real money’. And finally, when working for fabricland while in college, my manager gave me all the fabric to make my wedding dress (the store was closing) for 90% off! My dad said, ‘well, I’ll spend $1000 on a sewing machine or that same amount on your dress’. I’m practical. I made my wedding dress.
After three days of on again off again sewing, they are done. The pattern was a challenge to read…as I later learned a lot of people struggle with this book and the wording. But, the clothes are fun with all sorts of reverse seams, ragged cuts and super laid back boy style.
I did have to use this 
On the plus side, my 4 year old just sat beside me most of the time gawking and asking questions and brimming with excitement. So I can’t imagine a pair of pants infused with as much love as these ones.
I can see myself falling in love with sewing just as I have with so many other things. There is something in that creation for those you love, and the zen art of focusing on one thing for one’s self, and the lessons and legacies I am passing on to my children. Slow down and make or think. Be deliberate, don’t just consume or jump from one thing to another. Enjoy the process of what you are doing. How many times will I come back to this lesson.
